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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26930914">There's a place (where everything's at peace)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonana/pseuds/anonana'>anonana</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>moments in time [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Dean is Freaked Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Self-Indulgent, so much gay feels, they love each other so much and they are stupid and cannot see it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:42:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,153</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26930914</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonana/pseuds/anonana</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack asks Castiel what does love mean. Dean hears the explanation and freaks out about it a lot.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel &amp; Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester &amp; Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>moments in time [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1965055</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>156</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>There's a place (where everything's at peace)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hiii everyoneee &lt;3 I just wanted to say  I hope you enjoy this fic so much. Supernatural has returned finally and I know they're going to kill my baby angel. (PLEASE READ THIS) The things you need to know about this AU is that Jack, Castiel, Sam and Dean hunt monsters and that's it. There's no Lucifer, no God, no apocalyptic worlds, etc. Cas is still an angel. Also, I've written this fic because I felt sad and needed joy in my life, this is a totally self-indulgent fast-paced one shot.<br/>Expect: idiots in love. <br/>Edit: I have watched *that* scene for 67k times</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="bodytext">
  <em>Oh secret voice of dark love!</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Oh bleating without wool! Oh wound!</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Oh drooping camellia, needle of gall!</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Oh current without sea, city without wall!</em>
</p><p class="bodytext">
  <em>Oh immense night in sure focus,</em>
  <br/>
  <em>celestial mount rearing up in anguish!</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Oh dog in the heart! The persecuted voice,</em>
  <br/>
  <em>the mature lily, the boundless silence!</em>
</p><p class="bodytext">
  <em>Get away from me, hot voice of ice,</em>
  <br/>
  <em>don’t throw me into the wilds where</em>
  <br/>
  <em>fruitlessly groan the flesh and sky.</em>
</p><p class="bodytext">
  <em>Leave alone the hard ivory of my head,</em>
  <br/>
  <em>have pity on me, rip my sorrow to shreds!</em>
  <br/>
  <em>For I am love, for I am nature!</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The night was like any other those days. Dean woke up, panting and not being able to fall asleep again; the dream was always the same: he was walking in a forest towards a cabin, birds singing above his head and timid rays of light kissing the trees. Dean could never reach his destination because there was a voice, a too familiar voice, calling for help. The hunter could never reach come in time— the corpse laid at this feet while he screamed again and again. Why couldn’t Dean save the angel, no matter how hard he tried? </p><p>“Dean, is that you?” asked the owner of<em> the voice </em>. Dean had arrived somehow to the kitchen, probably his stomach had guided him,  and now was trying to find something to eat. </p><p>“Yeah, it’s me, Cas” Dean didn’t turn around to see the angel’s face. The blood of his dream was too fresh, and the feeling of having lost another person he loved still danced in his mind. </p><p>Frustrated, he closed the fridge. The mission was to go to his room and avoid Cas at all costs, but the angel had other plans; he laid a hand on Dean’s shoulder and watched him with those piercing blue eyes. They stood in silence for seconds, maybe hours, it was difficult to say. All the Winchester knew was that he didn’t like being analyzed like that, like he was an open book, When he tried to move, Cas’ hand tightened. </p><p>“What do you want, Cas?”</p><p>“Are you feeling alright?”</p><p>He wasn’t. </p><p>“Why wouldn’t I be?” Dean gripped the angel’s fingers and, for a second or two more than necessary, left it there before pushing them away. “I’m fine.”</p><p><em> Cas is alive, everyone is alright </em> , he thought, <em> I am alright </em>. </p><p>Cas frowned and he seemed confused by Dean’s behaviour. However, before he could say anything else, someone else arrived in the kitchen. </p><p>“Hey” greeted them Jack “, what are you doing you two?”</p><p>“What are <em> you </em> doing? It’s three in the morning.”</p><p>Oh great, Dean didn’t know they were throwing up a party! They only had to wake up Sam and they could start drinking tons of alcohol! Maybe he needed tons of alcohol to erase the memory of the angel dying. Yes, definitely. </p><p>“I was busy thinking about stuff.”</p><p>Dean went back to the fridge and took a beer as Cas asked “What stuff?”</p><p><em> Stuff </em>, he scoffed.</p><p>“Stuff. I don’t know how to explain it.”</p><p>Dean was too tired to even think about the way Jack’s gaze seemed to run away from his. </p><p>“Whatever you say, kiddo. I’m going to bed” Dean clapped him on the back with the hand that was not holding the beer. </p><p>The hunter didn’t even turn the corner when he heard the angel’s sigh and the sound of chairs moving. “Are you going to tell me what is happening now? Did something happen between Dean and you?”</p><p>Dean stopped walking at the mention of his name. What was going on? Quietly, the Winchester lurked in the hallway, unsure what do. It was no tokay to listen to private conversations, but if he was supposedly involved… there was no problem, right? Dean knew he was doing it partly because he was afraid of going to his room and having the nightmare again. </p><p>“What? No, no. There’s nothing wrong with Dean…” </p><p>“Then what is it?”</p><p>He could imagine the angel’s concerned glare, wanting to help and not knowing what to do. </p><p>“I… I didn’t know how to ask it while Dean was there”. <em> The what now? </em></p><p>“Jack, just say it.”</p><p>“Ugh, fine... I know that when you say you love something it means you like it, but what’s the <em> meaning </em> of love?”</p><p>His words came out quite fast. Like he was embarrassed to pronounce them. There was silence after, probably the angelic engines in Cas’ mind were turning and turning, trying to find an adequate answer for the kid. Dean was ready to laugh at a possible explanation consisting of brain chemicals and hormones, but then Cas started talking. </p><p>“Well, from what I’ve learned and... experienced” he cleared his throat “, love is like this unstoppable force that one day you discover by chance… and once you’ve seen it you can’t let it go. And when love comes for you, you can’t even try to run away. It’ll just be there, always.”</p><p>“Cas… that’s beautiful.”</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>Dean couldn’t keep listening, his heart was racing faster than it was before and he felt stones in his stomach. <em> Calm the fuck down. </em></p><p>It’s only when Dean basically runs towards his room and closes the door behind him that he starts to breathe. He could breathe, not sleep. </p><p> </p><p>   ***</p><p> </p><p>The older Winchester found his brother the next morning working on his computer and drinking coffee. He hoped, for a moment, that what happened last night wasn’t going to be visible. It was no big deal, and he didn’t know why he was acting that way.</p><p>
  <em> Cas has fallen in love. Cas knows what loving someone means.  </em>
</p><p>“You look like you slept one second and then woke up” said Sam, grinning across the table “. Did you, honestly, get any sleep?” He took a sip from his mug and kept looking at Dean. </p><p>“Good morning to you too. And you’re wrong. I didn’t sleep at all” the wooden chair seemed so comfortable he could fall asleep.<em> Cas is in love. Cas was in love </em>. Cas screaming his name. Cas dying in his arms. Cas. Cas. Cas. </p><p>It was all Dean could think of. </p><p>“Are you alright, though?”</p><p>“Why does everyone keep asking me that?</p><p>“Dean… I know you’re not sleeping well lately, I just have to look at your face. Is there something you wanna talk about?”</p><p>Sam was giving him the worried brother stare, which meant that he wanted to talk about this; nonetheless, Dean wasn’t going to talk about it, not now, not never. How was he going to explain that he had nightmares of Cas dying while Dean begged him to live? Nope. That wasn’t a fun conversation to have.</p><p>“Are there any new cases?” he asked instead. Sam didn’t say anything about the change of the topic.</p><p>“I don’t think so.” his brother closed his laptop and kept drinking his coffee. The silence was beginning to crawl from the shadows of the rooms, drowning the older Winchester in his thoughts. </p><p>Dean closed his eyes and was immediately transported to the cabin. As it wasn’t a dream, but his imagination, he pictured himself there, at peace; he’d not have to worry about monsters or someone dying on a mission. He’d wake up and go fishing.</p><p>“Hey, Sam, don’t you want to settle somewhere?” the words came out of his mouth rather unexpectedly, and Dean cursed himself for it. </p><p>His brother straightened his posture and frowned. </p><p>“What do you mean? Don’t we have the Men of Letters Bunker already?”</p><p>“Yes, but… I was talking about settling somewhere and retiring from this life.” He needed to stop talking. Now. </p><p>Dean wasn’t sure where had gone Sam's eyebrows. He seemed to be in shock. </p><p>“Is Dean Winchester talking about retirement?”</p><p>“Well… yes.”</p><p>“And how long have you been thinking about it?”</p><p>“I don’t know” he knew, but wasn’t going to say it “, it just got me thinking. Why are you laughing? I was trying to be honest here and you’re making fun of me.”</p><p>“It’s just that, whenever we have this conversation, I’m the one who wants to retire and you’re the one that wants to keep hunting monsters.”</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“I think it’s a good idea, especially now that we’re getting old.”</p><p>Dean smiled at that and started to feel a bit more relaxed. </p><p>“Imagine owning a house near a lake, living there with someone...”</p><p><em> Imagine living there with… with him. </em> Wait. No. No. No. Cas loved someone. Fuck.</p><p>“So there<em> is </em> someone, huh?”</p><p>And at the moment Sam asked the question, Cas’ figure decided to make an appearance. The world seemed to hate him those days. </p><p>“Sam. Dean.” </p><p>“Hey, Cas.” </p><p><em> Hey? Really? </em> </p><p>The angel sat next to Dean, so his torture was becoming much more painful. </p><p>“Are there any new cases?” asked Cas. Dean didn’t know what was exactly happening, but he seemed to be avoiding meeting his eyes too?  What? Dean was the one freaking about Cas, not vice versa. What if he heard him in the hallway last night, and now felt uncomfortable because he knew Dean had heard his explanation? Was there someone in Cas’ life? Who?</p><p>“No, but we were talking about how Dean wants to retire and settle with <em> someone </em>.”</p><p>Cas practically fell off the chair when Sam said that with one of his smug grins. </p><p>“Who?” the question came out from the angel’s mouth, and it sounded more like an exclamation. Dean couldn’t feel more stressed. </p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p><em> Someone with blue eyes and angelic powers, maybe. </em> </p><p>“Are you seeing a woman, Dean?”</p><p>Now it was his turn to almost fall off the chair. He turned to the left so he could face Cas and… and got lost. Dean knew he loved Cas, he had known for a really long time, but he had buried it, and those emotions were coming to him again. It was painful to love someone who’d never love you back. And it was even more painful to see that person loving someone else. He just wanted to know who deserved the angel’s love. </p><p>“Why would I be seeing a woman?” the hunter’s voice sounded strangled.</p><p>“I assumed you must be seeing a woman giving your heterosexual tendencies and your desire to settle down.”</p><p>Dean blinked slowly a few times, he was trying to process what he had heard. Sam hid his smile behind his mug, but he wasn’t fooling anyone; Dean tried to find a proper answer to that, though he only found concern in Cas’ face. Why?</p><p>The older Winchester sighed and got up. He needed air. </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>The shopping cart was full. Yes, he had gone out grocery shopping. With Cas. </p><p>Maybe it wasn’t exactly what he needed right now, but it was something. Dean wasn’t spending much time with the angel lately and didn’t know the reason for it yet. Was it because  Cas was busy with other things? Because he was with someone? Was Dean being stupid? Or jealous? Who would date the angel anyways? What if there was another angel?</p><p>Honestly, being so focused on Cas’ supposed love life helped him not to think about the cabin and the corpse.<em> Okay, you need to stop. it’s getting a bit obsessive.  </em></p><p>“Do you want the blue box or the green one with the lion on it?” asked the angel suddenly. He seemed so confused by the different brands of cereals and was watching them so thoughtfully Dean wanted to laugh. </p><p>“The green one.”</p><p>“Are you sure? It looks like the green one has much more additives.”</p><p>“For fuck’s sake Cas, pick the green one, I don’t care if it’s healthy or not.” </p><p>“As you say, Dean.” Cas tried to look serious, but there was a hint of a smile on his face. </p><p>After that, they went to wait in line to pay for their things. And it wasn’t until that moment that Dean realised how domestic they had been, how easy and fun it had been. It wasn’t the first time they had gone grocery shopping together, however, it was the first time Dean had let all of his feelings on the surface of his mind. </p><p>He wished he knew how to talk. </p><p>And the way Castiel acted since last night wasn’t helping at all with his nerves. The angel seemed to be suddenly a hater of Dean’s touch because he flinched when their hands touched in the car, or when Dean pushed him gently to move forward moments earlier. </p><p>“So, Cas” Dean cleared his throat “, are you feeling alright?”</p><p>They moved forward in the line. He didn’t even look at him. </p><p>“Yes, why?”</p><p>“I don’t know, you seemed a little distracted.”</p><p>From the corner of his eye, he could see how the other’s whole body language changed. <em> Shit, that had been a bad idea.  </em></p><p>“Are <em> you </em>alright, Dean? You’re the one that’s acting weird since last night.”</p><p>“Yes…”</p><p>There was another question behind his words, a question Dean wasn’t sure he’d understood properly. Could he be asking if he had heard the conversation or…?</p><p>It was their turn to pay, so the conversation ended there. </p><p> </p><p>They were putting the bags in the car when the angel talked again, and Dean relaxed. He thought he had fucked up. </p><p>“Are you looking for a house yet?” </p><p>“What?”</p><p>They were both standing in the middle of the parking lot, looking at each other in utter confusion. </p><p>“You said you were going to settle down with a woman, this morning.” Cas looked away as he said that, almost as if the thought of it pained him. Or maybe it was Dean’s stupid heart who made it look like that. </p><p>“Why would I be looking for a house if there is no woman, Cas?”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“Yeah,<em> oh. </em>”</p><p>And then Cas gave him a timid <em> smile. </em> A <em> smile </em>that made Dean want to throw the bags and kiss the angel desperately. But he didn’t. </p><p>After they put everything in order, the angel went to the front door and waited for Dean. <em> If he’s asking weird questions, I’m going to do the same.  </em></p><p>“I couldn’t help but hear the conversation you had with Jack” Cas’ whole expression changed from relaxed to mortified “, and I just wanted to ask you who it is.”</p><p>“Who what?”</p><p>“Who’s the person or angel you were, or you’re, in love with.”</p><p>The only answer he got was the door closing behind Cas. </p><p>“So that went well” he said to the empty parking lot.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Dean had been a fucking stupid asshole with no mouth filter; he had offended Cas somehow and now he wasn’t talking nor looking at Dean. His gaze was plastered on the trees they were passing on their way home, and silence had never felt more uncomfortable. </p><p>Dean didn’t like to feel anything, ‘cause that made him feel vulnerable. He was vulnerable now, carrying his racing heart in one hand and trying no to scream of rage. Why did he ever consider that the angel had felt something for him?</p><p>“FUCK.” Dean screamed finally, startling the angel, while he stopped the car on the side of the road. He buried his face in his hands and didn’t move for what it seemed to be a lifetime. </p><p>“Dean…”</p><p>“Just give me a moment.”</p><p>He got out of the vehicle and started to walk towards the woods.</p><p>Each step was an exhalation, a tear falling down his cheek. The problem wasn’t Cas or the person he loved. The problem was Dean had to accept that information and bury somewhere his will to live. </p><p>As he walked, something in the air started to feel familiar. He had been there before, when? </p><p>The Winchester heard birds singing, saw flowers everywhere and felt the touch of the sun on his face; he had to stop walking in order to appreciate it all. The view was bittersweet — he was dying inside, but the views were amazing. <em> And that’s the irony of life, isn’t it? You can see beautiful things but never have them.  </em></p><p>“DEAN.”</p><p>What the…?</p><p>“DEAN”</p><p>His feet dragged him towards the sound as fast as they could. </p><p>“No. NO.” </p><p>What if this whole time he had dreamed about something real? What if Cas had to die in his arms in real life? </p><p>“CAS, WHERE ARE YOU?”</p><p>No one responsed.</p><p>“CAS?”</p><p>Dean started to turn around, his fingers clutching the hair of his head. <em> This was a nightmare. That’s it. </em> It was a nightmare and he was going to wake up and Casn’t wasn’t going to be dea…</p><p>“Dean? Are you there?”</p><p>When Dean looked up, he saw the angel walking towards him. </p><p>There are moments in our life when we can’t think; we do stupid things, we do amazing things, we cry, we laugh and all we want to do is dance in the rain until our feet break. And that happens because the unstoppable force is moving us, controlling us. An unstoppable force called love. </p><p>And that’s why Dean ran to Cas and hugged him with such strength that they almost fell to the floor. The angel was hesitant at first, but he returned the hug eventually. </p><p>“You’re okay” whispered Dean. His heart was screaming of joy. </p><p>“I am.”</p><p>“You’re okay.”</p><p>When they broke the hug they smiled at each other. Cas’ hand was on his cheek, and he didn’t even know how it ended there. Dean didn’t care.</p><p>“I couldn’t find you. For a moment I thought you got lost.” whispered the angel back. </p><p>
  <em> Fuck it. </em>
</p><p>Dean leaned in and kissed him. No matter how many times he had imagined it, how many impossible scenarios he had played in his head, this was totally different. This was real. </p><p>“Wait, Dean.” the angel took a step backwards, breathing heavily. </p><p>Fuck. He had ruined it completely, hadn’t he? </p><p>“Oh, God, sorry Cas… I… I shouldn’t have done that.”</p><p>“No, it’s not that.” Cas looked like he was trying to say something but didn’t know how. Dean was regretting so much kissing him. Well, he didn't. But he felt awful. The angel looked at the sky and then back at Dean, only to sigh and say:</p><p>“Dean, it’s you.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“The person I love.”</p><p>Dean took a step forward. He started to laugh. Cas watched him in confusion but laughed silently at his reaction. </p><p>“What is happening?”</p><p>“What is happening, you idiot, is that <em> it’s you </em>too. I want to retire and settle down with you. I love you, Cas.”</p><p>Still laughing, they closed the distance between them and kissed again. There was no big declaration of love, no fireworks or violins. There was, however, a sense of peacefulness in the air. Even the birds stopped singing to hear it properly.</p><p>The unstoppable force was them. And if there was no tomorrow, they didn’t care, because they would live a lifetime in this moment, over and over again. </p><p>Maybe that was the true meaning of love: a place, a moment, where all feels alright. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Aaand that's it, if you enjoyed it pls give me love and thanks for reading.<br/>(Thank you for your kind comments, they made my day &lt;3)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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